Saturday, April 13, 2013

Families are Forever If I Can Just Get Through Today



An interesting read.

I often ask my favorite moms if they have any books that they recommend. This is one that my best friend Rachel recommended. She said it wasn't a how to book, but she picked up a couple of things from it and enjoyed seeing how another mother lived. I agree.

I should skim through it again to refresh my memory, but here's my impression 3 years later :) My main thought was "if she can succeed with twins and triplets then I can definitely survive one". I think her rules for when kids should sleep through the night goes against the AAP's recommendation, she's clearly Mormon and most people would never have so many kids, but I liked it. Don't go out and buy it, but if it's at the library or a friend happens to have it you might consider reading it.

That said, there were two things I learned, loved, and live: kids can sit still and schedule flexibility.

Janice Weinheimer taught all her kids to sit still for an hour at the age of one. Yeah, "WhAT?!" But I figured, hey, she did it with all her kids, I'll give it a shot. And it worked. Seriously. I couldn't do 12 months, it just seemed so young. (I have a hard time sitting still that long and I'm 28.) But at 14 months we started sitting on the floor 3-4 times a week with just Mommy, Hana and one toy. She did it everyday with no toys, but that just seemed too mean. At first I felt like a sadistic, torturing beast of a parent. She would cry and scream and try to escape for the entire 15-20 minutes, but after a few times she magically calmed down. She still didn't like it, but we were consistent and she knew what to expect. Eventually we hit that hour mark and limited our sessions to once or twice a week for a month before stopping all together.

Patience is a learned skill, and after watching Hana I've come to feel that as parents we often do our kids a disservice by not teaching them how to simply wait. The ability to sit without needing to be entertained is a wonderful life skill.

I have yet to see another baby sit through an hour long church meeting without any toys, but Hana does it every week. It's AMAZING. Rob and I actually get to listen to the speakers instead of drawing pictures for her or helping her with an I pad. I pack a drink and sometimes a snack if I know that she'll be hungry, but I don't need to bring an entire playroom. Every once in a while she needs to be reminded that she can either sit by herself or sit with help and much less mobility, but overall we're successful.

The second thing I learned was that she did many things when she had a desire to do them and this helped her get a lot done. If she wanted to spend a day baking then she made enough loaves to last 3 weeks. If she felt like sewing then she got all the Halloween costumes out of the way in just a day. I used to try to do a little bit of everything everyday. I now have a weekly to do list, but it's flexible. If I really don't feel like cleaning a toilet then I spend whatever free time I have working on my current art project or reading a book. Then if I feel like cleaning I CLEAN and normally that means that I get all the chores for the week done in a day or two. This not only means that I have the will power to get things done, but that I'm focused on just one or two additional things each day and that focus can be very powerful.



I couldn't find a website for Janice Weinheimer, but you can read a brief bio here.
Order at Amazon.com
(Except I'm not really recommending ordering it.)

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